If you’re tired of relying on dating apps, learning how to meet a woman at the grocery store might just be the thing you need in your life.
You can meet women at the grocery store?!
You sure can! In this post I'll explain:
- 5 quick tips for how you can meet women at the grocery store or supermarket
- 3 simple ideas to get the conversation started if you see an attractive woman
- 3 common mistakes men make when trying to talk to women in real life
I'll also share my tried and tested coaching strategies to make it easier for you to switch off your dating app, and on to meeting women face to face instead.
5 Expert Tips to meet women at the grocery store:
1. Keep your distance
To meet a woman at the grocery store, my first tip is to keep your distance. She may feel wary of speaking to someone whom she doesn't know, even though she's in a public space. Unlike a bar or nightclub, she probably won’t be expecting to find a date while doing her grocery shopping! You therefore have to be careful not to overwhelm her and not to enter into her personal space.
The best way to do this is to keep at least two metres apart and signal that you'd like to start the conversation. The most elegant way of doing this is to make eye contact and smile. If she's got her hands deep in a bunch of strawberries, you could do a little wave to engage and get her attention before you proceed. If you receive eye contact and a smile back this is a great signal that she’s open to starting a conversation with you.
2. Break the ice with an observation
My second tip to help you approach a woman at the grocery store is to break the ice with a simple conversation starter. Don’t be tempted to pull right up to her and say, “Oh my gosh, I had to come and say hello to you because you're gorgeous.” Now, in some scenarios that can actually work quite well. But in a supermarket, it will feel jarring because of the social environment. Those two people who were browsing ready meals may suddenly look up when they hear you say that, and that level of scrutiny is unwelcome — particularly for the women you are aiming to speak to.
Instead, I recommend beginning the conversation by observing something mutual. This is a low pressure way to test the water, and if she’s not receptive you can choose to end the conversation by smiling, and saying “anyway have a great day.”
Most men fear beginning a conversation with an attractive woman because they’re concerned that they’ll be intruding. Instead, by approaching a woman in a way that’s subtle you give both of you an opportunity to decide whether you want to keep the conversation going.
“Hey, I had to share how I like that your trolley is all green, healthy food.”
“The queues at the supermarket today are crazy, aren't they?”
Commenting and observing on something that's around you — that you can both see or appreciate — will feel less intense and less threatening than commenting on, say, her physical appearance. This also gives you time to check in and read her reaction before you decide whether or not to continue any further; this will be much more socially elegant, especially if you’re concerned about other people seeing “what you’re up to.” (Not that there’s anything wrong with talking to women in real life.) To give you some more guidance on what to say if you meet a woman you like, then read my guide to conversation starters towards the end of this post.
3. Gauge her reaction
I am not advising you to talk to women who wish to be left alone. Remember to look out for signs that she is receptive, open and comfortable having a conversation.
Does she stand still? Does she angle her body language towards you? Has she smiled or made eye contact? If so, these are some good signals that you might want to continue the conversation. If she does none of those things, or looks anxious and uncomfortable then it's always best to smile, wish her a good day and leave. You're not here to force your agenda on any woman. After your initial conversation starter you can also try offering her your name, “I’m Daniel by the way”. If she reciprocates this is a good indication that she’s happy to continue talking to you in the grocery store!
From your perspective, it's actually about looking for women who are in the same headspace as you. Women who are open to engaging and meeting with people. (If you'd like more advice on how you can approach women in a way that's modern and invites their participation, get my free dating advice for men here.)
4. Offer your backstory
Whenever we meet someone on a dating app, we have at least some basic information about them. You might know what they do, how far away they live, what their dog's name is. When you meet someone who you don't know in a public space, none of this information is available.
It will be easier for them to connect and relate to you once they understand a bit more about who you are.
“I decided I was going to try and do more of my shopping in-person because I spend all my day on a computer for my job. This is one thing I can do in real life.”
It sounds simple, but at least it gives her some insight into the fact that you're working, and that you're trying to be more active, get out and engage in the real world. These pieces of information are actually going to help her to feel more comfortable to continue the conversation with you.
5. Test the waters, gently
My final tip to meet a woman at the grocery store is only actionable if things have gone well so far. Is she comfortable talking to you and engaged? Has she put a bag down, or is she leaning on her shopping trolley, and offering lots of information about herself? Okay, great! Where do you go from here?
Don’t ask for her number as this could make it sound like a formal date is on the cards. Instead, you could say:
“Hey, before you go, if you're comfortable, let me grab your social media.”
“Look, I've actually got 10 minutes before I need to head off to my next meeting, if you want to stop off at the juice bar.”
Whenever you make your move, remember to keep it casual, relaxed and appropriate for the environment. A big gear shift towards some kind of potential romantic commitment will feel overwhelming. Pace yourself. Remember your goal and intention is to be able to stay in touch, if that's something she's open to as well.
Good luck and remember don’t try anything too cheesy! There’s already a cheese counter in these places… 🙂
Mistakes to avoid when approaching women in grocery stores
When approaching women in supermarkets or grocery stores ensure you avoid these common mistakes.
1. Don’t loiter, or follow a woman around the store
Having coached thousands of men to meet women in real life, I know your intentions are good: You’re trying to find that perfect moment to talk to her, and you’re hesitating. However, by trailing around after her she will feel followed by you. It’s best for your anxiety levels, and also for social appearances, to get the conversation started with her without too much hesitation. Remember there’s no perfect way to approach an attractive woman; some women will be open to meeting you, others won’t and the only way to find out is to talk to them or gesture at them.
2. Don’t go out exclusively with the intention to meet women in real life
If you turn up at a supermarket, or grocery store, and think, “right I’m going to get at least one woman’s phone number today” you’re going to heap pressure on yourself and create unrealistic expectations. If you’re beginning to develop the ability to meet women in real life, then you want to create achievable goals, and depressurise the interaction for you. To help with this, just choose to do your grocery shopping in real life, and if you see a woman you like, talk to her. If you don’t, no big deal. For beginners to meeting women in real life, simply noticing opportunities to talk to her, and smiling at new people is a win! Well done - you’ve gone out in person, and haven’t wasted an afternoon scrolling social media!
3. Don’t show nervous body language
Nervous body language (think twitching, or awkwardly positioning of your limbs) can easily be read by her as ‘dangerous’. Typically women are very adept at reading social situations to figure out if they’re safe, or not. It’s also a reality of women’s lives that sometimes they may feel unsafe around a man. This means women have to be finely tuned to correctly interpret the social situation they’re in, and will be attracted to men who show they’re socially well calibrated and comfortable. However, for you, it again may be unrealistic to instantly feel totally at ease talking to an attractive woman. Mindset can help, remember you’re not there to “get” her phone number, you’re just open to talking to new people and seeing where that goes. If meeting a woman at the grocery store still feels “too weird” to you, then try first to meet women in environments where it’s more expected to talk to them (singles events, networking events etc.) Then as your confidence builds, head back to the supermarket! Finally if you’re neurodiverse then you may naturally have a tic, and in this case it’s usually better to let some tension out through “nervous” body language as it will help you to stay focused on the conversation.
3 more ways to start a conversation with a woman at the supermarket
Looking for ideas on what to say when you meet a woman at the grocery store? You could try any of these conversation starters:
1. Sympathise
“Excuse me, I just had to say, this queue seems to be going on forever! My tummy’s rumbling just looking at my shopping basket.”
Commenting on the length of the queue is an evergreen opening line you should mentally bank: As observing the queue that you’re in is a common everyday scenario you may find yourself in. Save this opening line for when you’re meeting women in a coffee shop, or meeting women at a bar.
2. Congratulate
“Oh man you got the best parking space of the day!”
If she nabbed the best space in the grocery store parking lot, comment on it with an easy smile and see if she joins in the conversation.
3. Recommend
“Personally, and feel free to ignore me, I really like the purple ones.”
If she’s deliberating on a purchase, smile, make eye contact and give a suggestion. Notice here how you’re leading and directing the conversation (as opposed to seeking her opinion) this will very subtly create attraction with her. Also, if she’s not interested you’ve covered your bases by saying she’s free to ignore you. Of course, this also demonstrates social intelligence and, yes, makes you even more attractive.
Final Thoughts from a Dating Expert
Remember: most women aren’t planning to meet their next boyfriend while buying a loaf of bread. But, that doesn't mean she's closed off to the idea of that happening. However, it's important to respect the fact that she's going about other areas of her daily life as well. So I want to reassure you that the tips and information I'm giving you are all about engaging with a woman in a way that is respectful.
I don't want you to visit supermarkets with the idea they are the best places in the world to meet women — and then promptly not meet any. Instead I want you to feel confident to engage with people around you: and take advantage of everyday opportunities to meet women in real life.
Done in the right way, you can absolutely master real life alternatives to online dating to meet single women: And if you’re fed up of dating sites and apps, learning how to start conversations with women in everyday life could be a game changer for your dating life. How do I know this? Well for over 15 years me and my team of dating coaches have helped teach men (and women) how to successfully meet someone in real life. You can find information on our next dating event in London here.
Meeting women at the grocery store: FAQs
How can I pluck up the confidence to speak with a woman I see at the supermarket?
First of all remember you’re not here to make every woman you meet fall in love with you, you’re here to help develop your social confidence to meet more women generally. No conversation is perfect, and you will get invaluable practice at meeting women in real life if you can jump in and try!
Should I use a pick up line when I approach women at the grocery store?
Successful conversations aren’t started by using pick up lines. There’s no ‘abracadabra’ you can say to make a woman like you. However, you can use one of my suggested observational conversation starters to start the conversation with her in a way that’s respectful and attractive
Is the supermarket a good place to meet women?
It will be easier to meet women in real life in places where you have some context: A friend’s birthday party, at a member’s club, or a single’s event. However, with practice it’s entirely possible to meet women nearly anywhere. If you enjoyed this blog you might also like my dating advice on how to meet women at the gym.
What are the best stores for meeting women?
As well as your local grocery store, you can try bookshops. Ideally you want to go to places because you enjoy shopping there, with the added benefit that you may meet women in real life. Supermarkets that have coffee shops, and bookstores that have juice bars will also give you an opportunity to meet women.
Is it cheesy trying to meet women at the grocery store?
There’s nothing wrong with working on your dating and social skills to improve your love life! In fact, mastering the ‘meet-cute’ (the lost art of meeting someone in real life) is straight out of a romcom. So no, don’t judge yourself for your efforts to do the most natural thing in the world, which is to meet and connect with new people.
How to attract a woman in a supermarket?
Attraction is a long game. It would be unrealistic for a woman you meet at the supermarket to immediately fall head over heels for you. However, if you can talk to a woman in a way that’s respectful, fun and socially well calibrated she may enjoy the novelty of meeting you in real life, over a guy she’s just swiped right to on a dating app.
How do you ask a girl out at the grocery store?
Before you think about asking a woman out at the grocery store, make sure you’ve actually connected with her first. Attraction may be the reason you said hello to her, but without some kind of connection don’t attempt to move this forward to a date. If you’ve had a nice conversation, then it’s the most natural next step to say, “hey, I should get back to my shopping but it’s been surprisingly nice talking to you, let me grab your number?”
How to grocery shop when you're single?
When you’re single it really benefits your dating life to keep your eyes open to opportunities to meet people in the world around you. So next time you’re in a grocery store, take your headphones out, put your phone away, and smile at people!
How to talk to a girl in a supermarket?
A woman you meet in a supermarket won’t be as used to talking to you, as she would have been had she met you in a bar. That’s why I suggest you begin the conversation in a low pressure way by observing something around you. If the conversation clicks, talking to a woman in a supermarket is no different to speaking to her in other everyday life scenarios.
