If you want to know how to approach a woman who smiled at you, first of all it’s great that you noticed this strong signal from her… now what are you going to do about it?
From over 15 years experience coaching men and women “in the wild” how to meet one another in real life, there’s not much I don’t know about starting conversations with women.
In this blog I’m going to share with you:
- What does it mean when a girl smiles at you?
- Why do women send signals, instead of making the first move?
- A super simple 5 stay plan for how to approach a woman who smiled at you.
What does it mean when a woman smiles at you?
The answer to this depends on context, and what other signals she’s giving to you. For example if she smiles at you and makes eye contact across a busy bar then this is much more likely to be a signal of interest, than if she smiles at you in a hospital waiting room which is more likely to be her communicating, “I’m sorry you’re going through something too.”
To simplify this, see a woman who is smiling at you as a sign she’s socially open to talking to you; but not as a sign she’s sexually attracted to you. (In fact for the majority of women I work with they’ll express they simply don’t know if they’re attracted to a man until they’ve spoken to him). Part of the reason you want to learn how to approach a woman who smiled at you is that how you communicate with her will make the difference whether she’s attracted to you or not.
A smile from a woman is a particularly good sign if its accompanied by:
- Her making eye contact. This could be meeting your eyes, looking away, and then looking back again. (However some women will look at their feet if they’re really attracted to you - helpful!)
- She moves closer to you.
- She seems to be loitering, hoping you’ll make your move.
- She’s playing with her hair.
- She reapplies lipstick.
- She adjusts her clothing.
- She keeps (hopefully) smiling at you.
I know you might want to dismiss these signals as “she’s just being friendly” but you simply don’t know if she’s interested or not (and she probably doesn’t know either) unless you’ve gone over and spoken to her.
Bottom line, you probably don’t need a dating coach to tell you that a woman smiling at you is a good signal, and if you’re attracted to her, you should 100% say hello to her.
Why won’t she make the first move?
There’s tons of reasons why she won’t make the first move, as much as you might love the idea of women more openly hitting on you (ah - wouldn’t that make life better!) it’s highly unlikely to happen. Here’s why:
- Women find it more attractive when you approach them.
- Women are even less well versed in how to make the first move than you are.
- Women will think you’ll judge them negatively for being sexually forward.
- Women believe that if you’re attracted to them enough, you’ll approach them (easy peasy.)
So if you want to approach a woman who smiled at you, here’s your super simple 5 step plan.
Tip 1: Don't Hesitate
You know as well as I do, that if you dwell on how to make a perfect first move, you will psych yourself out. Instead, lock eyes with her, smile, countdown to 3 and go, go, go!
Even if you don’t succeed in totally charming her this time, you’ll set a great precedent for yourself by taking action, and as they say you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Tip 2: Keep It Simple!
Use a simple ice breaker. I know you’ll feel like you need a good reason to approach a woman who smiled at you. Or something fun and original to say. You actually don’t! No woman is judging you on having the wittiest opening line. Instead to help you to make a move, keep it super simple! You can just say “I noticed you and wanted to come over and say hi.”
Avoid making an inauthentic excuse to approach a woman who smiled at you, like the classic, “have I met you before?”. This will nearly always backfire if you then try to ask for her number!
Instead simple and natural conversation starters will work best. When she can tell through your non verbal cues that you’re being authentic this will come across well.
Tip 3: Offer Your Name
If you’re panicking about what to say next, simply offer her your name. Again, this is a super simple next step in the conversation and it also provides you with a valuable feedback loop. If she’s comfortable to keep talking she’ll reciprocate with her name, then you have your next step into the conversation.
From here you could comment on her name, “you’ve got the same name as my best friend!”, “where’s your accent from, I can’t place it”, “your name is even harder than mine to spell” etc.
Or worst case, if she doesn’t want to give you her name in return, pull the ripcord! Wish her a good evening (or day!) and you’re out of there. You will still feel proud of yourself for taking action!
Tip 4: Tell her about yourself
The easiest conversation topic is YOU. You may feel resistant to talking about yourself. You’ll think, ‘why would she care about me and what I’m up to?’ However, remember before she’ll want to share about herself, she’ll probably want to know a few things about who you are.
Talking about what you were up to that day at the point you met her, often makes it easier for her to feel comfy and start talking about herself.
Top tip: If you have a non native accent (for example you’re a Spanish guy who is meeting women in the UK) then you’ll want to explain that, “I’ve been in London for 4 years but I’m originally from Spain.” This will help her to understand that you’re not a tourist, and she will be more open to getting to know you.
If you’re still worried about what to say next, remember this, you successfully have conversations everyday. A hot woman is no different. Quit putting her on a pedestal and talk to her like you would any other person. We’ll get to the flirting part later!
Tip 5: Form A Habit
Create more opportunities. Approaching a woman who smiled at you is a good indicator that she wants to speak, but it’s a nice to have, not a necessity to start a conversation. I’ve coached 1000s of men in real life, who’ve approached women who hadn’t even noticed them! These men have gone on to get these women’s phone numbers, get more dates, and even get married.
Bottom line! If you’re a single guy who isn’t putting yourself out there in real life you’re leaving 80% of your dating options on the table. If this is you, your first goal isn’t to perfect your interactions with women, it’s simply to get started. So next time you see a woman who is smiling at you, you take your shot and approach her!
How To Approach A Woman Who Smiled At You | FAQS
Will a girl smile at you if she likes you?
A girl will smile at you if she likes you. However, this smile could mean anything from attraction to mild curiosity. In fact many women hold back on smiling at men they’re attracted to because they worry, ‘what if he comes over to speak to me, and it turns out I don’t like him?’ For the vast majority of women they will need an extended conversation with you to figure out if they’re romantically interested in you. A girl smiling at you is a good sign that she’s open to liking you, but you’ll need to go over and talk to her first!
Should you smile when approaching a girl?
You should 100% smile when you’re approaching a girl (or woman) you’re attracted to. Smiling is one of the easiest ways to appear less threatening, and more approachable. It also suggests that you are comfortable with talking to her. If your body language shows that you’re happy and relaxed talking to her, it will be easier for her to also start to feel at ease.
Does smiling indicate attraction?
Smiling can indicate attraction; however it can also indicate “I’m being friendly,” “I’m empathising with you,” or “I’m socially confident.” So it’s important to not see smiling in isolation as a signal that she’s attracted to you. In fact most women’s process of becoming attracted to you, requires an extended interaction with you. So see a smile as an indication that she’s socially open to chatting, but not a foregone conclusion that she’s attracted to you.
