What qualities does the woman you commit to need to have?
Do you want to know a secret way to separate yourself from all the other guys out there? Prove you have standards for the women that you date beyond their physical appearance. Go into the process of dating to meet women you're attracted to for their qualities.
Before you give it your 100%, check out whether she's got some of the qualities that are important to you. Does she have some of the qualities you find helpful for building a relationship? Will these qualities make you gel well in the future?
Having a clearer idea of what standards you're looking for in a woman will help to meet her on a level playing field. It will help your conversations go beyond her being gorgeous.
What other qualities do you need in a woman before you make her your girlfriend?
Willingness
My first and the most important quality is willingness. Is she giving her time and her energy into building this relationship with you? If you're in a position of asking a woman out and seeking to spend time with her, but she's not making any of that effort in return- her effort level is very minimal. This means you don't have the most important starting block to build a relationship with her. She could tick every box on paper but without her being able to give you her time and without being open to building the relationship it's not going to happen.
Remember, a relationship isn't about meeting a woman and proving to her that you are the most awesome guy ever. Relationships have two sides. You need to be focusing your time and energy on building a relationship with women who want the same things. So the bare minimum she needs to give you to get that relationship ball rolling is her time.
A similar level of connection
My second important relationship quality you can look out for is a similar level of connection and or independence to you.If two people are very mismatched in what kind of level of intimacy they'd like in a relationship, it's often a recipe for disaster.
We are all different. Some of us prefer more independence or more autonomy. We like our own space. But if you're with someone 24/7 it would start to feel quite overwhelming. On the other end of the spectrum are people who want cosiness and closeness in a relationship. And if they commit to someone, they'd like to see them every day and be physically close.
Becoming aware of how you like to operate in a relationship will give you a better perspective and help lookout for people who are on a similar page as you.
So if you want to be close to someone, and the other person's idea of a relationship is to hang out once a week, there may be too much of a mismatch to find harmony.
Respecting each other's boundaries
My third relationship quality is that she respects your boundaries, and she's able to give you hers.Here's a good example of this. You have communicated to her that you are going to go off for a weekend with your buddies. But when you're at the airport your phone shows you've got 50 messages. This is an indicator to you that she isn't able to listen to how you're going to connect and relate to her and does not acknowledge your boundaries.
No relationship will fit into your criteria 100%. If your ideal mode of communication is one phone call a week, and hers is seven, you will have to meet in the middle. But if you feel bombarded or overwhelmed by the amount of communication, this usually is a bad sign.
She should also feel comfortable expressing her needs to you. Have open communication about your levels of comfort to find a middle ground. Look out for women who can communicate their boundaries, even if it's not always what you want to hear. Look out for people who respect your boundaries as well.
Communication
My fourth important relationship quality is communication.Now we all communicate differently. A good sign to look out for relationship potential is that communication feels easy. Again, there should be a natural match in how much you want to message and how easy is it to message each other. If things are getting misinterpreted, or someone is getting angry because messages are being read in the wrong way- that's not a sign of a good relationship. Make sure you are not feeling bombarded by the number of messages you are receiving or the volume of argument that arises from simple misunderstandings.
Respect
My fifth essential relationship quality is respect.If there is any belittling, any name-calling, physical forms of aggression and explosive outbursts of anger get out. Avoid this type of relationship.
This often this is much easier said than done. If you find yourself in one of these relationships, I have put some numbers and some links below so you can get support and help to get out.
Remember! In all relationships no one's perfect. But we should feel supported and nourished. You should feel more able to go out and focus on your work or friendships because you feel clear and secure about where you are with a woman. If there's constant turbulence and angst and the relationship is very destabilising in your life this is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
If you would like some more guidance on how you can not only meet a date women but also build healthy and loving relationships with them, please head over to www.hayleyquinn.com/unite
Trust
My sixth and final important quality to have in a relationship is trust.Now the trust has to be built. And most of us out there have had experiences in our lives where people have led us down or haven't respected us. But, the expectations we have of our partner are important. They dictate the future of our relationship.
So if someone does have very negative expectations, if they feel uncomfortable with you going on a night out, if they're checking through your phone, if they're always second-guessing you, this could be an example of their issues with trust. Develop yourselves to become the kind of person that other people can give us their trust.
If you need help to get out of an abusive relationship - ways to get support:
- women can call The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247 for free at any time, day or night. The staff will offer confidential, non-judgemental information and support
- talk to a doctor, health visitor or midwife
- men can call Men's Advice Line on 0808 8010 327 (Monday and Wednesday, 9 am to 8 pm, and Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, 9 am to 5 pm) for non-judgemental information and support
- men can also call ManKind on 0182 3334 244 (Monday to Friday, 10 am to 4 pm)
- If you identify as LGBT+ you can call Galop on 0800 999 5428 for emotional and practical support
- anyone can call Karma Nirvana on 0800 5999 247 (Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm) for forced marriage and honour crimes. You can also call 020 7008 0151 to speak to the GOV.UK Forced Marriage Unit
